car kareoke

this morning on my way to work a ford explorer pulls up behind me at a stop light. the suv for a man's man of course. the driver was a guy in his 50s or so.

he was singing along to a song..

that i happened to be listening to on the radio..

pussycat dolls - when i grow up

whiskey tea mash

ingredients
1 1/2 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. simple syrup
3 oz. cold brewed tea
2 slices ripe peeled peach
2 lemon wedges

tools
muddler
mixing glass
rocks glass
shaker
strainer

start by muddling a slice of ripe peeled peach and a lemon wedge with 1/2 oz. simple syrup in the bottom of a glass. add ice, 1 1/2 oz. bourbon and 3 oz. cold brewed unsweetened tea. shake well. strain over new ice in a rocks glass and garnish with another slice of peach and a lemon wedge.

trees, planes, and fat kids

i read an article about an ad placed in philadelphia newspapers for a new airline: derrie-air. they consider themselves a carbon-neutral luxury airline. carbon-neutral because for every pound of carbon their planes release into the atmosphere, they will plant a tree. luxury because every seat is a first class seat where every passenger is treated like royalty. i believe this falls under the category of "eco-luxury".

does anyone remember silverjet? the british carbon-neutral airline catering to business travellers? no..? that's because they went out of business less than a year after they started operating flights.

here's where derrie-air is different.. they don't include a mandatory carbon-offset contribution. also fares are based on weight.. YOUR weight. you and your luggage are charged a rate based on the weight class you fall under. the more weight you bring on the plane, the more fuel you consume. if you need an excuse to become bulimic.. here you go. (*kidding* reena does not promote nor condone bulimia.) sucks if you're a naturally tall and big-boned individual, you'll always be paying on the high end of the scale.

anyway, i shouldn't be rambling about all of this. the airline is fake.. doesn't the name derrie-air give it away? (derrière = arse/backside/behind/bootie/bum/jelly - let me know if i missed any) philadelphia media holdings created this ad campaign in order to test the effectiveness of advertising in their print and online products. it was rather effective with a click through rate of 1.25 (the national average is 0.5).

obviously the concept of the airline was the main reason for the interest.. wouldn't you be curious about an airline that charges by the weight?! they said they chose the concept to stimulate discussion on a timely environmental topic of interest to all citizens. i wonder how feasible it is to follow through on the "plant a tree for every pound of carbon released by the organization". it would definitely eat into the airline's floundering profits to support tree planting organizations based on their carbon use. which means they'd build it into the fare. or make a new surcharge: "the tree-hugger's revenge".

i'm not sure if the pricing structure would work.. then again it's like the mongolian grill: the more you consume, the more you pay. so why couldn't it work in other industries? i always pack my luggage to the maximum, sometimes going over by a kilo or two with stuff i don't need to take with me. something like this could curb my horrible packing habits. i'm not sure how comfortable i would be at the thought of standing on a scale at the check-in counter with my luggage though. cruise-goers would certainly pay more for their flight home. travellers to india would pay less for their flight home. i can see this being a litigator's dream.. especially in the u.s., "the land of lawsuits". they could say it's a malicious way to punish those who are overweight, discrimination against those who have an addiction to food.

this whole thing screams logistical nightmare though. can you imagine the line-ups and delays at check-in counters caused by this extra detail? or crazy women shouting at the staff.. "your scale is WRONG! i can't possibly weight 160lbs!" what about people who purchase items once they pass security? weighing passengers before they physically board the plane would take forever, especially if someone doesn't agree with the scale. that would skew the way they allocated times and gates for flights coming in and out. would you get a refund if you weigh in less than anticipated? i wonder what the maximum weight per passenger would be.

i'm on the fence on the whole fly-by-weight concept. the idea makes sense in my head, but i just can't see it being executed well.

my car is now a salad bar

last night i bought a super size salad from the grocery store - a $7 salad that lasts me three lunches is certainly a beautiful thing when you're on a budget and don't have time to wash, cut, grate, fuss.. i bought a garden salad with nuts, fancy i know.

this morning when i opened the salad to split it, i saw it had bacon bits in it. uh.. what? garden salads don't typically have bacon bits. and if they did, it would certainly be written on the label. so i checked the label in case i had suddenly become dyslexic: "contains nuts". grr.. i know meat won't kill people like nuts could, but bacon bits aren't standard for salads unless it's a ceasar, so a little note saying "contains nuts. contains bacon." would have been helpful.

luckily i bought it at the 24 hour grocery store that's on my way to work, so i stopped in this morning in hopes they would exchange it. i walk up to the customer service desk.. it didn't open for another hour. ugh. since i only wanted to exchange the salad, the girl at the cash said it wouldn't be an issue. the only thing that really bothered me was that she said to just put the salad i bought back in the salad section.. not that i did anything to it, but she doesn't know that. i may look normal (shush), but i could very well be a psycho (double shush).

happy as pie, i took another salad with cheese and nuts, no bacon or other meat products in sight. i put it on the passenger seat in my car and off i went to work. as i was making a left turn, a reasonably slow left turn, my salad slid off the seat and burst open onto the floor. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! boo. i was NOT happy. not only did i just see my lunch go to waste, but my car now smelt like a salad bar. i guess the smell isn't so bad.. as long as it doesn't smell like it's rotting (yes i did clean it out when i got to work).

at least the rest of my day went well.. i got a good price for some custom display stands and a demo i was videotaping didn't explode. woo.

no entry

this year i finally got to go on a lazy vacation; something, i admit, is kind of foreign to me. usually when i travel it's do this, do that, see this, oh can't forget this. don't get me wrong, i love that - always being on the go and experiencing something new. if i'm on my own, i'll walk for hours on end, wandering with a map in hand, or take public transportation if necessary - i really enjoy experiencing a city like that.

anyway, after the wedding in england, five of us went to portugal to be beach bums for five days. i was travelling with four brits, so on entering portugal i obviously get put in the foreigners line for customs.

customs officer: so you live in canada?
me: yes sir.
customs officer: where are you going?
me: uh..
oh dear. i couldn't remember! i couldn't say the algarve because we landed in faro which is part of the algarve.. i looked to my right and the other girls were already past customs and waiting for our luggage. crap. i might be denied entry and be sent back to england for a week of family visits and indian food.
me: i .. don't .. remember. umm. it's a place forty minutes away.
customs officer: four minutes away?!
me: no forty, four zero. the place starts with an alb..
customs officer: aljezur?
me: no..
customs officer: alvor?
me: no..
customs officer: alcoutim?
me: no..
customs officer:albufeira?
me: YES! that's it. that's where we're going.
at this point i'm using my typical big hand jestures like people use while playing charades. you know.. arms waving everywhere, spirit fingers.
customs officer: *type* *type* *type* *stamp* here you go. *hands back passport* have a good trip.
me: thank you! i will! have a great night sir!

the customs officer seemed unphased by the whole episode. i guess that happens often. i wonder what he typed in the computer though..

toronto: home of the weirdos

the week before last mum calls me, "saturday we're going to see a movie. i want to see a movie." alright, scheduled into my calendar: movie date with mum. i knew, i KNEW the movie choice was going to be the mummy.. mum's pretty predictable that way. i tried to convince her to see the dark night, but failed miserably.. "nope, i want to see the mummy." fine. when we got to the theatre mum saw that a bollywood movie was playing. i was NOT in the mood for a "happy-go-lucky, dance in the fields proclaiming that we've all found our soul mates, and will live happily together forever after" movie (excuse my bitterness). i wanted to see chaos. before she said anything, "NO! the mummy or bust."

even though the mummy was released the day before, it was no surprise that the theatre was not even a quarter full. the second mummy was okay, so my expectations for the third one weren't very high.. apparently my expectations were still higher than most people! so you can imagine how empty the theatre was..

an older gentleman walks in on his own, in his 50s maybe? he stands, looks around, walks up the stairs, walks down our row, looks at a seat few away from me and then proceeds to sit right beside me. umm.. the entire row is empty and he sits beside me? mum, being mum, makes the observation very loudly in gujarati *slaps forehead* the weirdness didn't actually start there. it started when he walked into the theatre: he was holding his ballcap awkwardly in front of his mid-section. odd. during the movie, i feel something moving beside my thigh (on the side the old man was sitting). i didn't think anything of it cause i figured it was my mind playing tricks on me since i had just seen some creepy crawlies on the screen. later.. i feel it again, i glanced down out of the corner of my eye but didn't see anything. about 20 minutes before the end of the movie, during the battle scene, i felt it again. so i put my hand down and grabbed the metal buckle on my purse, took a look at it, then put in on my lap. at that point, the old man looks at his watch, gets up and walks out. while he was walking down the stairs and across the theatre, he kept staring at me! it was a proper straight stare too.

mum asked, "what was that all about?" i shook my head and shrugged.. CREEPY!! so i proceeded to feel my thigh and the seat.. was it warm? was it wet? do i still get that weird feeling like something is touching me? nope, none of the above. i can't quite figure out what it was.

for all i know, this could have all been in my head, or it could just be the standard toronto weirdo. i swear i lived a sheltered life in ottawa, cause i never had to deal with so many crazy old men situations until i moved to toronto. most i dealt with before were old men hitting on me at work: "how YOU doin'?" or watching crazy old men behaviour at a distance: an old man dancing at a cross walk as an 18-wheeler sits there waiting to cross the intersection, jumping up in the air in a single twist and lands on the ground doing the jazz split (oh i kid you not).

oh dear. i guess i'll just sit here and wait for the next episode of geriatric hijinks.