hello, this is nigeria calling..

two or so weeks ago i got four missed calls.  hrmm.. who in the world is that desperate to get in contact with me?  the number was long distance, so i looked up the country code.  +234 = nigeria.  interesting.. who do i know in nigeria?  could it be mr. mamba requesting help to recover money that may be lost due to the death of a client and their entire family?  or maybe it was mr. okemadu wanting help to attain money that is now in limbo due to a debunked construction contract.

i have no idea who's calling.  they called again later that day.  the phone would ring twice, hang up.  ring twice, hang up.  ring twice, hang up.  ring twice, hang up.  what's with the actions in even numbers?  weird.  the fourth time i managed to answer the phone.  "hello?  hello.. heeelllloooo..?  anyone home?  my bologna has a first name, it's o-s-c-a-r.  my bologna has a second name, it's m-a-y-e-r.  ..." at this point i stopped and waited for the person on the other end to finish the song (because who doesn't know the lyrics to the oscar mayer jingle?).  nope, nothing.  pure silence.

i never got a call again.. until last night.  again they called four times.  same routine too - ring twice, hang up.  i never called the number back on my lan line out of fear that it's really a sex line that will charge me a ridiculous amount of money per minute, plus a connection fee, an entertainment fee, a privacy service fee, plus the cost to make the long distance call in the first place.  i was not prepared to possibly face a $200 phone bill for my 30 seconds of curiosity.  nuh-uh, no way.

for those who are braver than i, here's the number: +234 80 3580 7180.  knock yourselves out.  if anyone does call, please let me know.  i'm really curious to know why i have a nigerian stalker.