BOO!

it's 6pm on halloween and i'm sitting on my front porch with my macbook waiting for children.. how wrong seriously wrong does that sound?! not a single kid in sight down my street. this is slightly disappointing. trick or treating starts at 6pm sharp people!

6:30pm and still no kids!! i'm very disappointed by this neighbourhood..

6:40pm - TWO kids! woo!

a child cross-dresser just came by for candy.. hrmm..

a baby elephant just showed up!!

a kid with a.d.d. just came by.. he saw the next door neighbour's basketball and went running! the dad was still standing like, "what just happened?!"

a little clown took the candy from my hand and tried to put it in his bag himself. then he looks at me with sad little eyes, "i can't put it in :(" awww.. so cute!!

7pm and i've run out of candy! EMERGENCY! my mum made 70 loot bags to give out and i've run out in half an hour! holy batman! i'm now handing out the mini toblerones stash..

a girl dressed like a princess just pulled the "can i have one more for my little sister who couldn't come out..?" *sigh* i gave in!

a few kids were running across the street and one yells out, "ooh! i think there's something scary on that porch!" then they run up to me and say, "oh.. you're just a normal person.." sorry to disappoint :(

since i have my laptop out with me, one kid says, "whoa.. that's very 2120!" i guess he assumes me lounging around on my porch like a lazy arse is a costume..

a parent just yelled out, "hey kids! someone's giving out laptops!" *groan* ..

7:40pm, it's really slowing down.. excellent since my stash is almost gone..

8pm.. no more candy! this candy shack is closed for the evening.

ultrasonic subliminal messaging for sale

how i found this.. i don't know. on ebay, i found a bunch of subliminal cds for sale! the best is the ultra-sonic ultra-silent subliminal track, where you hear absolutely NOTHING yet you're still being fed subliminal messages.. so you're being sold.. silence.. on a cd.. interesting. offered are the standard self-help, stop smoking, positive speaking fare, but there are a few gems worth the mention:

supernatural mind powers psychic esp <-- i really don't want to know i'm going to fall flat on my face before i do, because i already expect it anyway :S
meet spirit guide / guardian angel <-- this would probably freak me out more than interest me..
remember past lives - reincarnation aid <-- does anyone want to find out that they were an axe murderer in a past life..?
find romance, lover, mate - attract love <-- i should suggest to those who want me married to buy me this, hahahaha :)
dna activation (boost your genetic evolution) <-- perhaps the answer to ensuring you make beautiful babies..?

a woman is like a what..?

"a woman is like a teabag. you don't know how strong she is until you put her in hot water."

err..

ms. voter

i voted today. *applause* i have yet to miss voting in an election, thank you very much.

since i moved, i didn't get a yellow card in the mail telling me where to vote. and here comes the complaining..

on the provincial government website there is NO link to the elections website. uh.. hello? isn't that the first place people will look for voting information? not everyone will do a websearch right off the bat. this is a critical day for the ontario government, so why be so.. uninformative about it?

because i didn't have a yellow card, i wasn't on the voters list for the area i live in. obviously. so off i went with my licence to my voting location in order to register. they checked my licence, ASKED ME IF I WAS A CITIZEN, gave me a form to fill out, had me read an oath out loud, and then told me which table to go to vote.. they ASKED me if i was a citizen. why does this seem so wrong? you don't need to be a canadian citizen in order to have a driver's licence. shouldn't they require proof of citizenship? obviously if you're not a citizen, they'll eventually catch you.. but that's a heck of a lot of paperwork to go through for five seconds of work to begin with. how difficult is it to ask that anyone registering bring two pieces of id: one to show residency, the other to show citizenship?

anyway, who did i vote for? NOT TELLING!

boston trip (part 3 of 3): SURPRISE!

friday night i was at my my cousin's house. if she found out i went all the way to boston without visiting her, she'd totally kill me. since i was going to be there, my parents knew that she wouldn't have any plans that would involve not being home, so they figured a road trip was in order. so friday night after my sister-in-law arrived from england, i called home to see if they were ready to get on their way. they told my cousin that they were going to spend the weekend in toronto to throw her off.

leaving at about 7-7:30pm.. i get a call at 4:30am.

me: *in my half asleep, i think i'm whispering voice* hello?
dad: we're outside. can you sneak us in?
me: *pause*
dad: hello..?
me: yeah, i'm here.
dad: can you sneak us in?
me: i don't know..
dad: well take a minute.. and then open the door.

i walk over to the door and tried my best to quietly open it. i never snuck out of the house when i was younger.. i'm not good at being quiet. certainly my lack of sneaky practice didn't help in this situation. so i managed to get the door open letting my mum, brother, and sister-in-law in. my dad was about to walk in, but he had to lock the doors to the suv. how does he typically lock it? with his keyless.. what does his suv do when he locks with the keyless? honk. when i saw him fiddling with the keys i growled and said (in what i assumed to be a loud whisper) DON'T! gah, so he locked it the traditional way.

my cousin just had her basement re-renovated (just meaning the contractor finished that day..). so due to lack of beds, we improvised as usual: my brother and sister-in-law in the den, my mum slept in my nephew's bed with me, my dad slept on the couch in the family room. at 6am, my brother-in-law woke up and went into the family room to have his morning tea and some quiet time to himself (with three kids, it's usually a weekend necessity). walking into the family room he noticed the suv parked on the driveway and spent a good few minutes trying to figure out who's suv it was and what it was doing there. then he walked over to the den and noticed that my brother was sleeping in there. hrmm.. then walked back to the family room to stare at the suv some more. he finally noticed dad at this point, only because dad started laughing.

i was shocked.. no one woke up during the "great family sneak-in 2007". it's not like we're the quietest bunch out there. of course it became the joke of the weekend:

me: i seriously thought someone was going to wake up in the middle of the chaos..
brother-in-law: nah, we were completely knocked out.
brother: so we could have easily just taken all your stuff without you even noticing..
cousin: good! then i can get NEW stuff :)

oh dear.. at least we now have an idea for an april fool's joke ;)

boston trip (part 2 of 3): learn'ed

wednesday i checked into my hotel in revere.. sketchy little town, but the hotel rate was cheap! $179 versus $600+ a night in boston :S so i ventured into boston that night to meet up with my brother-in-law who works downtown. i wanted to go to cheers, since i had a slight obsession with the show as a child. we walk in and he says, "TADA!!" ... what a disappointment! totally. sorry if i ruined it for anyone hoping to go but.. yeah.

the next day was the start of the seminar. i got to the conference centre early, being the smart person that i am, checked the schedule in the lobby and ventured off. when i reached the registration area i was obviously lost. the sign was for the ama - american management association; i needed marketing *sigh* the man at the registration desk was nice, explaining that the day before he was getting doctors looking for the american medical association.. that obviously made me feel less dumb!

the bathroom in the conference centre was amusing. typically motion sensors are put on toilets and taps if they're going to be anywhere in the bathroom. here they only had it on the paper towel dispenser.. which was the total opposite to standard bathroom setups. it was one of those "if we were to install a motion sensor somewhere.. where would we put it?"

the food.. omigod the FOOD! better than expected for a seminar. even though i forgot to tell the organizers that i'm vegetarian, there was plenty of food for me to eat. and not just of the grilled/steamed veggies variety. they actually had vegetarian entrÈes. that wasn't the only thing to impress me either.. the 3pm spread for break: CHOCOLATE HEAVEN! oh my.. despite it being mostly hershey chocolate (the most disgusting chocolate ever made), it was still very impressive. unfortunately i didn't get a picture of it (to cherish the moment for years to come).. but WOW was i happy :)

boston trip (part 1 of 3): take-off in 5..4..3..2..1

going through u.s. customs before leaving canada was very entertaining! i wore heels since it was a business trip and all.. so i figured why not dress the part. i was walking into the canadian line behind two men when one of the airport officials opened up the barrier for the line and told me to go to a till for american citizens.

so i walked over.. as i got closer the customs officer i was told to go to was moving his hands as if he was directing an orchestera and was swaying his head side-to-side. he said he liked making fun of ladies who wear heels! asked me all of one question:

customs officer: why are you entering the u.s.?
me: for a seminar.
*stamp* *stamp*
customs officer: now i get music when you leave!

oh so amusing :)

while eating lunch at the airport a couple sit down a few tables from me.

gentleman: i'll have a glass of wine please.
server: i'm going to have to see your i.d. sir.
gentleman: what? okay then..
server: it's a policy as of october 2006 that we have to i.d. everyone.
gentleman: here you go.. i'll be 76 next month you know!

hahahahahaha :) policies set by equalists.. gotta love 'em.